Dear Dirty America

    The Dangers of Sitting: 45 Years Ago Hubert Humdinger Warned Us

The Dangers of Sitting: 45 Years Ago Hubert Humdinger Warned Us

ADAM MICHAEL LUEBKE upstanding NEVER SIT AGAIN IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE I've been doing a lot of leaning, lounging, and relaxing lately, all in the upright position. But you won't find me sitting. The only time I take a load off while I'm awake is when I use a toilet. I would stand [...]

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    VISA Black Card Offer: From Pauper to VIP

VISA Black Card Offer: From Pauper to VIP

ADAM MICHAEL LUEBKE qualified human I've lived the life of a pauper for a reason. I like it. Well, most days I like it. And the alternative is worse. The dusty wooden floorboards in my antique Los Angeles apartment, the leaky toilet, and the armed robberies that happen once or twice a month [...]

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    The Last Time There Was So Much Charlie Worship Hollywood Almost Imploded

The Last Time There Was So Much Charlie Worship Hollywood Almost Imploded

I haven't seen so much Charlie worship since I broke the news story in 2011 about the Hollywood Walk of Fame's plans to award Charles Manson a star for his contributions in music on the famous puke-splattered Los Angeles sidewalk. I had sources from the streets. I didn't realize that printed [...]

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You’re the Reason It Doesn’t Rain In California

  You’re the Reason It Doesn’t Rain In California

It rained for two and a half days. Gentle, pitter-pattering that we all should have been hoping and praying for. No mudslides, but a much needed dousing. Yet my neighbor, when [...]

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I’m Charlie, You’re Charlie, Unfortunately We’re All Charlie Hebdo

  I’m Charlie, You’re Charlie, Unfortunately We’re All Charlie Hebdo

"Killing people is bad. There, I said it. Now, can we start talking about the deeper issues going on?" -- Hubert Humdinger, exiled cultural philosopher. An awful lot of people are going [...]

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How to Call A Yeti, pt.1: Curtailing the Coyotes

  How to Call A Yeti, pt.1: Curtailing the Coyotes

ADAM MICHAEL LUEBKE on the lookout in North Dakota We long suspected the coyotes were eating the cats on my parents' farm, so we had to figure out what kind of creature [...]

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Relishing the Sony Hacking Scandal; North Korea ‘Routing the Hollywood Zionists’

  Relishing the Sony Hacking Scandal; North Korea ‘Routing the Hollywood Zionists’

My North Korean readership has been warning me to get out of the United States before I'm deemed an enemy. "Come to Promised Land," one man wrote me. He claims he's [...]

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Holiday Kindness: Am I Worth the Genetically-Modified Calories I Take In?

  Holiday Kindness: Am I Worth the Genetically-Modified Calories I Take In?

ADAM MICHAEL LUEBKE I really thought the day before Thanksgiving I was going to witness my first headline-worthy act of Southern California road rage, and not even twenty feet away from [...]

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Fiction & Poetry
    Altered Realities

Altered Realities

JOHN BENNETT (originally sent to Bennett’s email list — sign up below for more like this) There's no such thing as reality. There are circumstances and mindsets, always in a state of flux. That's [...]

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