Dear Dirty America

    Knowing Where Skidrow Is

Knowing Where Skidrow Is

JOHN BENNETT (originally sent to Bennett’s email list — sign up below for more like this) Thirty years ago last night I was racing a college kid barefoot in the snow on the college track for $50 – three miles.I made it three miles instead of the usual one because it turned out the kid [...]

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    Depressing Bill Cosby Conversation Over Uplifting Starbucks Thanksgiving Blend Coffee

Depressing Bill Cosby Conversation Over Uplifting Starbucks Thanksgiving Blend Coffee

My neighbor said he felt he'd been assaulted by Bill Cosby. We were standing out by the dumpster. Propped up next to an empty milk jug and a crushed beer can carton was a glossy poster of the old, beleaguered comedian. I stared deep into his eyes. "You and a lot of [...]

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    Unless You’re the LA Mayor, It’s Essential You Cut Back on Water

Unless You’re the LA Mayor, It’s Essential You Cut Back on Water

It's been well over a year since I helped fix my neighbor Bob's flaccid shower flow. That had been after our the mega real estate corporation bought the crumbling early 20th century apartment building we lived in, and then had the Energy Savings Assistance Program contractors break into every unit and install [...]

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Getting Married to a Star: What Worries You About Charlie Manson?

  Getting Married to a Star: What Worries You About Charlie Manson?

I received a highly confidential, insider's report that the leader of the Hermit Kingdom, Kim Jong-Un, reportedly clapped his hands upon hearing the latest celebrity gossip out of America. Big [...]

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Chef Arnold, An American Rebel, Feeding Florida’s Homeless Despite Arrests

  Chef Arnold, An American Rebel, Feeding Florida’s Homeless Despite Arrests

"If this Chef Arnold makes edible, nutritious food, and he lives in the United States of America instead of North Korea," Humdinger said, "then there should be no problem with [...]

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We’re Worried About the Big E & We Don’t Mean Encephalitis

  We’re Worried About the Big E & We Don’t Mean Encephalitis

All of the fear. All of the tension. It's ironic I started off 2014 with such a positive article about placing hope in one's multivitamin. We've got a nurse in Maine defying [...]

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Transrealism from the Hermit Kingdom: ‘Ain’t That What You Do?’

  Transrealism from the Hermit Kingdom: ‘Ain’t That What You Do?’

I received an email from one of my many North Korean readers the other day. He cited an article in the Guardian newspaper about the so-called literary form of 'transrealism'. "Ain't [...]

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Like Ants to Costco Toiling After the Metaphorical Pinch of Sugar

  Like Ants to Costco Toiling After the Metaphorical Pinch of Sugar

ADAM MICHAEL LUEBKE for Kim Jong Un, who gave us quite a scare Before leaving home I noticed a string of ants zipping through my living room, along the baseboards, into the [...]

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Fiction & Poetry
    Day Before Thanksgiving, 2002

Day Before Thanksgiving, 2002

ERIC CHAET (originally posted at 100 So-Called Poems) Day before Thanksgiving, 2002 aged 57: Sun came out & the river was at the same time metallic & full of movement—scales— not like musical scales, more like fish [...]

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