Ramadan Reject: Newt Gingrich Passes Out at Multicultural Event
WASHINGTON DC – At a small cross-cultural celebration thrown by one of Newt Gingrich’s old lobbyist friends, reports are surfacing that the former Speaker of the House passed out after nearly an eight hour fast. He was taking a “sympathetic role in playing my part in the Islamic custom of Ramadan.” Gingrich blacked out shortly after he gave a dry toast boasting his love for all cultures and traditions from all around the world, especially those of his Mohammedan brothers and sisters.
From one anonymous source inside the event, Gingrich was the only attendee who was braving the Islamic Ramadan fast, which requires for practicing Muslims complete abstinence from all food and drink from sunrise until sunset. The king of the Netherlands, who was also in attendance but was not fasting, was the first to loosen the tight collar and tie from around the politician’s neck.
“He’d mentioned a few days ago something about a couple years ago another GOP candidate for presidential nominee took a jab at his [Gingrich’s] true tolerance and passion for other countries’ customs and religious heritages,” the source said. “That really bothered Newt.”
Who was the Republican candidate who made the slight at the former Speaker? The source was not willing to say, however, many Washington insiders believe it was the firebrand GOP / Libertarian former congressman Ron Paul.
“’I’ve read every book in the Library of Congress that has to do with multiculturalism,’” Gingrich had reportedly told the source during the opening minutes of the multicultural gala. “’And that was just one summer in 1992.’”
Gingrich was last known to be in the emergency room of a local hospital being fed water and hooked up to a drip feed to provide him with the proper nutrients needed to restore his strength.
“He took a great deal of pride in being the universal man of understanding all nations and their peoples throughout history, their ways and traditions, their belief systems and their political processes, and even as much as possible about their futures. When that notion was trashed, our good friend Newt decided to really put his money where his mouth is,” the source said.
[photo of Newt by Gage Skidmore]