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Hillary Clinton 2016: On A Road Trip Like A Real Person

Hillary Clinton 2016: On A Road Trip Like A Real Person
April 14
14:43 2015
I will not line up for the Republicans or the Democrats so I can fight for scraps! For bread crumbs! Maybe if it were over a handful of fresh goji berries, I’d give a hoot about US politics.” — Hubert Humdinger

You’re more than just meat in the seats. You’re more than just a consumer with a paycheck. You’re more than just a number.

Although that might not be true, Hillary Rodham Clinton wants you to believe it is. Or at least to believe that’s how she thinks it is.

Clinton_Says_Farewell_(8435836995)She cares for the little people. The fat people too. And the ugly people, and the disabled people. In fact, if you’re a person with voting rights, she cares about you.

Which is why she strapped herself into a beaten up Astrovan driven by a campaign aid worker with a scraggly bit of hair growth on both cheeks and a wide pair of BluBlockers covering his eyes, and braved the wild American roads to Iowa with members of her political team.

Like real people do. Like people who don’t have tens of millions of dollars. Like people who haven’t spent their entire lives trying to be in the political spotlight, gunning for every photo op and elbowing for every strategic position that comes along. To make herself appear like less of a non-person.

Hillary could have flown to Iowa. That’s what the media, like the Huffington Post, is fawning over. Why did she take an Astrovan? And a dented, rusty old banger like the one she did? Well, because she’s Hillary, and she’s reconnecting with the people. It’s who she is.

She even shoved down a pulled pork burrito at Chipotle like working Americans do every day. Rumors of a scuffle between Clinton and a campaign manager’s assistant behind the van dominated the blogosphere. The assistant wanted the former Secretary of State to dribble a little Chipotle sauce on her chin for a photo with a plump family from Ohio.

It was a bad suggestion and everybody knew it. But chalk it up to experience for a young campaign assistant working to remove her training wheels.

If the photos of Clinton double-belted in the very back seat of the van like precious cargo on a military jet are released, Americans might re-examine their perceptions of a woman who makes six-figures for talking to college kids about nothing for one hour.

When the cameras arrive, the campaign interns will gently lift the football helmet off her head, unbuckle her specialized car seat, and make ready for the “insider’s” look at the packed Clinton van-o-rama road trip. They will take no risks in transporting the former First Lady the old-fashioned way.

You must understand, this is it for Clinton. Her last roll in the political hay. Her last affair with being queen of the White House. She is not well. Everybody knows it. Prone to seizures and possibly suffering from minor brain damage from the spill she took in her kitchen in 2013. She’s in rough shape at 67 years old, and she’s knocking at Reagan’s presidential age record.

Clinton is determined not be overturned, trumped, or outstripped this time. Her desperation is obvious for those who can see.Hillary_Clinton_by_Voice_of_America_(cropped_to_face) She is more dangerous than ever before. She will not let herself be backed into a corner. Blood will be spilled before that happens. Most certainly, no fresh-faced junior senator sucking up the minority vote is going to come along and steal the show.

Word has it that Clinton got the thumbs up from the Council on Foreign Relations as well. She’s set to go. There’ll be no disruption of the globalists and their agenda from her administration. She’ll spend almost $40 a vote, with what is shaping up to be an estimated $2.5b campaign dance.

Those are early estimates. There is no limit to these things. Not anymore. The CFR could, however, change their minds, and that is always a worry rooted deeply within the guarded Clinton scheme.

Such as, “You’re out, Elizabeth Warren is in for a quick bait-and-switch on the liberal American populace.” But that is only if the public does not respond well to Clinton’s ad assault.

The threats to her candidacy are out there, and they are viable.

From within the family is the first. Her husband, William Jefferson, and his penchant for riding the Jeffrey Epstein paedoplane could become a serious pitfall along the campaign trail. His neocon policies as president, such as being instrumental in dismantling the Glass-Steagal Act that undoubtedly led to the financial holocaust of the American middle and working classes, is also a liability.

The threats from the right are numerous. Rubio. Walker. Rand. Maybe Bush. If they can stuff him into an old, creaky van and cart him through the Midwest. If he doesn’t slip up and give the media a chance to photograph his spongy back end exposed above his sagging pants as he wiggles out of the side door of the van, he might be the formidable wad of goo that gums up the works of the Clinton machine’s complex system of moving parts.

See also Jeb Bush Cleaner Than A Whistle, in 2016

And oh, have they begun to move. Full steam ahead. There’ll be glitches, there’ve been hitches, but money buys experts, and Clinton has money. In fact, the only friends she hangs around with are the “sleazy money types” that Glenn Greenwald so expertly hit upon when he went off on a riff about the upcoming Clinton campaign.

So far that doesn’t seem to faze the fake liberals of the country. The reader commentary on the HuffPost is nauseating. But what should we expect from mice stuck on wheels with visions of cheese hanging just beyond the glass? Keep plodding ahead. You’ll wear out long before the wheel does.

“She’s got my vote” a number of men and women wrote. But for what? What has she done to make you vote for her? Helped Walmart stick it to their underpaid workers when she represented the mega corporation with Rose Law Firm? Used her sharp political insight to vote for the Iraq invasion that will eventually cost the US $5T and over one million Iraqi lives and caused four million refugees to flee their homes?

Nobody cares that Hillary is pro-surveillance state, pro-Patriot Act, and pro-Wall Street. Even if she did disagree with these stances, she can’t go off script. She either has no idea of what she truly believes, or she can’t say it because it would jeopardize her political career.

Kind of like how she called Edward Snowden an aid to the terrorists and a traitor to America. Then, later, she sided with angry Americans who were appalled at the all-encompassing apparatus of the surveillance state. Then she took a jab at the NSA. Then, again, when it felt right, she more lightly condemned Snowden.

How easily the pigs persuaded the other animals on the farm to give up their power, to work harder, and to expect only crumbs for their labor, and how easily we grovel to those with a little more power than we have. All it takes is for the sheep to keep bleating, “First woman president, good!”

Not only that, if you don’t support Hillary, maybe you don’t like women in general. Maybe you don’t support women’s rights….

Well, at least Hillary is a beacon for women’s rights.

Yet, it seems like nobody remembers the abysmal 1976 trial where our good friend Hillary Rodham Clinton descended upon the courtroom like Satan’s own blonde strumpet. As she defended her client, Thomas Alfred Taylor, Hillary stomped the character of the 12-year old girl who had accused Taylor of raping her. Clinton called the girl a liar and said troubled girls exaggerate their sexual experiences (maybe in a similar way her husband underplays his).

Nobody seemed to care that we’ve never seen a real emotion from this woman. Why would anybody trust a person who has lived decades of her life scripted and planned?

Yet, she has a real chance at becoming president. A handful of successful PR campaigns, like hauling ass across country in a van and eating out at fast food joints, will repaint Hillary’s character in the contrived, calculated way she’s run the majority of her adult life.

[Clinton with football helmet photo by United States State Department/Nick Merrill; Hillary with microphone photo from U.S. Department of State]

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