Dear Dirty America

Tag "breaking news"

Steve Jobs’ Rumored Magical Musical Appearance with One Thousand Impoverished Chinese Child Laborers at Superbowl Half Time Show

Dear Dirty Newswire An email leaked out of Indianapolis and splashed across various websites online claiming that Steve Jobs, the late founder of Apple, would be making a surprise musical

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Newt Gingrich Unleashes Black Magic on Romney Campaign: Late Night Fistfight Ensues

Dear Dirty Newswire TAMPA, Fla — Newt Gingrich pulled out all the stops against Mitt Romney while on the exhausting Florida campaign trail. Gingrich fell to his knees in the

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Oakland Mayor Quan Threatens to Call Parents of Rowdy Occupiers

Dear Dirty Newswire OAKLAND — The exasperated Oakland Mayor, Jean Quan, threatened Monday to call the parents of those rowdy Occupy Oakland kids. Quan was upset with Saturday’s demonstration which

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Officials Hand Out RPGs to Citizens as Military Practices Sky Maneuvers Over Los Angeles

Dear Dirty Newswire   LOS ANGELES — Military officials handed out (Rocket-Propelled-Grenade Launchers) RPGs and a simple list of instructions to a handful of responsible Angelenos Wednesday afternoon as they

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Newt Gingrich Rapes Rick Santorum’s Wife, but She’ll Make the Best of A Bad Situation

Dear Dirty Newswire LADY LAKE, Fla. — In the late hours of the night, Newt Gingrich reportedly copulated with Rick

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Goldman Sachs Buys White House from Bankrupt America

Dear Dirty Newswire In a hushed deal made in the early morning hours, the White House was officially sold to

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Moby Dick Rumored to be Destroying U.S. Battleships in Strait of Hormuz

Dear Dirty Newswire The USS Carl Vinson was mysteriously capsized early Saturday morning as it entered the Strait of Hormuz.

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Golden Globes to Honor 1 Million Dead Iraqis

Dear Dirty Newswire HOLLYWOOD, CA– The 2012 Golden Globe Awards this Sunday will take a moment to honor the one

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Tim Tebow Commits Suicide, Apparently Depressed Over World Politics

Dear Dirty Newswire DENVER–Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow was found dead late Tuesday evening in a ritzy Denver hotel room from

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Rick Santorum Caught Reading Bible on Toilet

Dear Dirty Newswire NEW HAMPSHIRE–To keep an already baffling, startling, and interesting GOP presidential nomination race intriguing, Rick Santorum was

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