North Dakota vs Texas: Who Will Be the First to Shoot Down A Domestic Drone?
BISMARCK, ND — After a misleading news article title out of Texas, published at the popular alternative news site, Infowars, about the first spy drones having been shot down in America, North Dakota natives have responded in a gutsy who’s who among civil libertarians and restorers of American liberty and freedom.
“We know Texas didn’t shoot down the first spying drone in American skies. That’s going to be North Dakota’s heroic title. It’ll happen sooner than later. Those Texas boys are trying to be folk heroes, but they’re calling for it prematurely. When we read that article, the title made it sound like Texas already grabbed the bragging rights, but it was a sham,” said one man who’s deeply involved in building the infrastructure around North Dakota’s hills and prairies to blast drones out of the air.
A report earlier this year announced 30,000 spy drones would be used in America. The fleet would cost taxpayers $63 billion.
In January, Dear Dirty America reported the effort:
A coalition of wealthy and concerned North Dakota citizens say they have teamed up to build a series of anti-aircraft artillery to counteract the expanded use of spying Predator B drones used in their state. The anti-aircraft artillery (AAA) will be constructed throughout the state’s rolling hills and hidden in its vast prairies, and will be poised to take out any unmanned drone.
The Infowars article, titled “Drones Shot Down Over Texas” was an article highlighting a video of popular anti-establishment journalist and radio show host, Alex Jones, and the Steiner Brothers shooting down various types of surveillance drones. The drones had been purchased by the group, who then enjoyed a passionate target practice with the hovering UAVs (unmanned aerial vehicles).
While the shooting of drones on the Steiner ranch was real, the scene was filmed for an upcoming show called Brothers In Arms, which will highlight the abuses toward the Second Amendment.
“We’re not out there bringing attention to ourselves,” said a source close to the barely known North Dakota coalition, “we’re out there building up our defenses, not to make a political statement, but to chip away at the surveillance state that’s been ushered into every fabric of our American society.”
United States junior senator and recently-resigned North Dakota governor John Hoeven has publicly denounced the “irresponsible, paranoid ideas of a few wealthy citizens” secretly building AAA defense, but very recently, at an Olive Garden dinner party in Bismarck, Hoeven was overheard telling a group of close friends:
“North Dakota will knock the first spy drone out of American skies. It’s our civil liberties I’m worried about. Texas thinks they’re on the cutting edge of state’s rights. But take a look at North Dakota, motherfuckers. We’ve got a $2 billion state surplus and more oil beneath our soil than a dermatologist could scrape off of Kim Kardashian’s face after a vodka and cheap quarter-pounder double cheeseburger binge.”
Hoeven is not known for his colored analogies, but he does take a hard line on social issues. He went on to slam Texas governor Rick Perry for being a panderer to all things “establishment”, and a fake civil liberties advocate. Perry spends more time greasing his hair and slicking his cowboy boots, Hoeven said, than actually making any meaningful decisions about God and country.
“We got our main man Jack Dalrymple,” Hoeven was also heard telling his table of friends. Dalrymple’s North Dakota’s 32nd governor.
Who will win the race to legitimately shoot down the first spying drone over American soil? How will Texas respond to North Dakota’s feverish dedication and volatile rhetoric? Only time will tell. But one thing is for certain, shooting down a federal spying drone will bring with it harsh consequences. The act will also bring widespread fame and positive recognition from a country becoming all too aware of its battered civil liberties and constitutional freedoms.