Dear Dirty America

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Pope Depressed After Loss of Favorite Dog & Mitre

DEAR DIRTY NEWSWIRE Pharaoh Hound “It is a double whammy,” the pope said, “to lose your favorite dog and your favorite gaudy hat.” New reports from the Vatican describe a

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Man Gets Arrested for Hanging Stained American Flag

DEAR DIRTY NEWSWIRE J.B. Dikruck isn’t happy that he spent 48 hours behind bars in a tiny Sheriff’s station in Kentucky. He says he didn’t break the law, but sheriff

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The Charles Manson Hollywood Star

Small protests are expected, and an even smaller, but harsher band of Manson supporters are rumored to be countering the protest this afternoon at the ceremony. Petitioners have already held

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Vatican House Dog Chews Up Pope’s Mitre & Dies

DEAR DIRTY NEWSWIREVatican officials said sometime during the week the Vatican’s favorite pet house dog got into the pope’s sacred room and chewed up the holy mitre. The loss is

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White House Hires Counselor To Help Lawmakers Imagine What Unemployment Feels Like

DEAR DIRTY NEWSWIREWASHINGTON–An inside source at the White House announced Thursday evening that President Obama had ordered officials to hire

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New Survey: Americans Love Mac ‘n Cheese More than Sex

DEAR DIRTY NEWSWIRE Credit: Holger.Ellgaard  Famed and forever castigated psychologist Hubert Humdinger (pronounced hum-din-jur), recently conducted a survey from his undisclosed

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Faux News Poll: Anders Behring Breivik World’s Sexiest Terrorist

DEAR DIRTY NEWSWIRE A Faux News poll released Tuesday afternoon showed the network’s viewers voted Norway killer, Anders Behring Breivik as the world’s sexiest terrorist. He stomped the competition with

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