Dear Dirty America

Pharaoh Hound

“It is a double whammy,” the pope said, “to lose your favorite dog and your favorite gaudy hat.” New reports from the Vatican describe a sullen, down-and-out Pope Benedict XVI moping around the Vatican’s private parks and gardens.

A servant boy remembers the sad incident with the pope’s favorite dog and mitre: “We were all in tears to see the holy mitre chewed up like that. It was torn to shreds, and then we saw the dog with his feet in the air.” His name was Zenon.” See Vatican dog chews mitre & dies

“We brought him a new dog,” one anonymous Vatican insider said, “but he went into a rage and chased the puppy out of the chamber. Now, we don’t know what to do.”