Dear Dirty America


Elitist Eugenicists Suggest Depressed Patriots Fans Kill Themselves

February 06
10:18 2012
Dear Dirty Newswire

UNKNOWN — Emails and colorful blog entries from suspected elitist eugenicists circulated online calling for depressed New England Patriots fans to kill themselves. Fans of the NFL football team are especially susceptible after losing to the New York Giants in Sunday’s Super Bowl.

“We suspect this is the work of elitist eugenicists trying to curtail the uncontrollable world population,” an expert familiar with elitists and Eugenics said. “The propaganda, which is what it really is, calls for really sad Patriots fans to kill themselves in any way possible. Gun, knife, hanging, pills, drive off a cliff. Anything.

“We know this work been issued by secretive elitist eugenicists because it is not picky about how the suicide happens, but it is targeting individuals who are incredibly passionate about sports teams and players.”

The expert explained that elitist eugenicists strive to cut the world’s population by ninety percent. “They especially wish to take out the poor, the stupid, the meek, and the lamest among us. I believe that is why they are really making a push for overly-passionate sports fans.”


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