Dear Dirty America

I’m sure by now you’ve heard the alarming news that a Los Angeles porn star named Cameron Bay has tested HIV-positive. Her previous testing in July was negative, but in her last blood draw, the test came back inconclusive. Upon further testing, it was found that she had been infected with HIV.

As devastating as this is for Cameron Bay and her family, this is not the first time LA-area porn stars have tested positive for severe sexually transmitted infections. An adult film star seems to test positive at least every year. Which is why the courts have secured the mandatory condom law. Despite the cutback in pleasure, for both the audience and the viewers, the perceived cutback in porn star infections is the aim, no matter how unConstitutional it might be to force males to roll on brightly colored rubber sheaths over their unusually superhuman-sized shafts.

If I were a businessman, which I’m not, but I’m trying, because entrepreneurs are the only people left in this nation who are respected, along with sports heroes and reality TV stars, I’d say there’s got to be at least one untapped market in this decadent nation of ours: HIV-positive porn.

Think about it. The risk is zero. Condoms completely unnecessary. No hard feelings, since everybody has the same bummer infection. The worst has already happened. Life for these folks can now be recklessly explored without any dimension of fear.

And for millions of unemployed Americans, along with stressed out office workers and government officials everywhere, the extra thrill of seeing HIV-positive porn stars engage in the lewdest of acts while being filmed might prove to be fulfilling. It might fill an unspoken fantasy harbored within millions of pent up, hopeless post-industrial hearts.

What I’m really saying is that these HIV-positive porn stars need paying work. Many people in this nation need jobs. Why not crack into a new market. It’s no different than the various online forums teeming with adults who have contracted an STD, like genital herpes, who are unabashedly looking for other adults with herpes, so as to enjoy sexual intercourse without the guilt or risk of passing on the infection to another human partner.

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