Dear Dirty America

I don’t watch Miss USA pageants, not only because I don’t own a television, but because of the filth you’ll see in the above video. A reader clued me in to this clip. Miss Alabama (along with others, I’m told) was asked by judge Wendie Malick how she felt about recent news reports that the government is collecting and tracking our phone records.

Like a good slave she answers that she doesn’t want to be afraid to go to the mall or the movie theater, so she’d rather have her and all Americans’ privacy encroached upon. The audience cheered. Great answer! If these women weren’t an inspiration to young girls everywhere, I’d say her response was cute.

Too bad the NSA wasn’t only collecting phone records. NSA’s Prism and Boundless Informant run much deeper than that. What else does this intelligence agency collect? What are its justifications for doing so?

Hello, I’m Miss Alabama, and I think this question is misleading. First of all, it’s not just our phone records that are being collected. It’s been admitted that all of our videos, live chats, emails, web histories, and cell phone data are being collected. It’s probably much worse than that. In fact, Edward Snowden, the NSA whistleblower, claimed the documents he’d released to The Guardian’s Glenn Greenwald were only the ‘tip of the iceberg’. Is this really necessary for our safety? Do we really feel comfortable with prosecuting all whistleblowers and journalists, and treating hundreds of millions of innocent American citizens like possible criminals for the indefinite future? When is enough, enough, America?

That should have been Miss Alabama’s answer, until Wendie Malick would have her lips wrapped around the end of the microphone and slobbering into it, “Ok, ok, that’s enough already we’ve got the point Miss Ahhlabama.”

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