Dear Dirty America


The Ghetto Bird is haunting my area — can’t work with that constant thwup thwup thwup and a light bright enough to make Satan squint

July 30
05:22 2011
Mid-Wilshire is lit up tonight. Somebody must have done some wrong. The LAPD cars are cruising my block and the helicopter came blasting overhead from the far East. Usually it blows over my quiet little neighborhood, but not tonight. Tonight is a night for catching criminals.

 What could be the problem? Who knows? Some rogue peasant from Koreatown wandered across the line and started peddling a drug cut with a veterinarian elixir; a homeless man was seen digging through the trash looking for an organic half-rotten sandwich (no meat for me, boss); a grey-haired pedophile humping underage tail in the backseat of his rocking Mercedes; teenagers kicking the glass windows out of local Olympic Blvd businesses.

These are all possibilities. But I hope the bad guy(s) get away tonight. I’m in no mood for anybody to get arrested. Tonight, Los Angeles is letting all delinquents go free and pardoning all criminals. Our jails are too full anyway. Let it ride. Let it ride.

Muzzle that Ghetto Bird and let those cruisers rest. Give em all a tune up and make the Bird eat less meat and more vegetables. Better yet, starve that thwuping bastard. 


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