Dear Dirty America


Cracked Charles Manson Hollywood Star Gets Replaced

Cracked Charles Manson Hollywood Star Gets Replaced
April 26
23:22 2013


HOLLYWOOD – After a firestorm of controversy in the summer of 2011 that resulted in a petition at and a trending Twitter hashtag, the Charles Manson star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame is already in need of a replacement.

A sizeable crack was reported to the Walk of Fame committee, and within hours the infamous star at Vine and Selma was torn up, and a replacement was specially ordered, expedited, and being cemented into the spot.

“A lot of people come and stomp on this star,” Edward Delsinki said while on his knees. With one gloved hand, he scraped away the debris from the gray slot. The old star, with the offensive crack running through its center, stood upright against a trashcan. “It seems somebody took a sledgehammer to it this time.”

Clusters of tourists and locals stepped around the maintenance man as he grunted and set into place the shiny new Manson star. “I don’t know why they do that. It’s destruction of public property.”

Delsinki, who has been installing and replacing Hollywood stars for over a decade, wears a bright orange and yellow safety vest while he works. He shook his head at the thought of overweight tourists stamping and cursing out a tile on a sidewalk.

“I remember the protests people formed when this star was put into place. But that don’t make any difference to me,” he said, wiping his brow, “because frankly, this country is always rewarding unsavory folks.”

Delsinki launched into a tirade about how the United States named a library after George Bush Jr. “He killed one hell of a lot more people than Charles Manson could even dream about, but they let Bush write a book, sell it, give talks, live freely, and they bestow onto him honors. Hell, the guy is guilty of torture, too,” Delsinki said. “And don’t get me started on Clinton and Obama.”

Delsinki admits he’s a nobody. Just a repairman. A maintenance man. A man who bends over to do a job, and exposes one to two inches of his lower back and bum. “I admit all that,” he said, “but that don’t mean I can’t have opinions like the next guy, and that don’t mean I can’t read and call a spade a spade.

“Charlie Manson made some good music, and he ordered a few people killed a long time ago. George Bush Jr. hasn’t done anything positive, and he ordered about 6,000 U.S. troops to their deaths, and caused the deaths of ‘bout a million or so Iraqis after he invaded their country for no damn good reason. But they give him a library.”

Delsinki confessed that his viewpoint is not widely held by most Americans. “Most people don’t consider killing citizens of other nations as murder. But those people are hoodwinking themselves.”

Charles Manson was rewarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, for his contributions in music, in the summer of 2011. Initially, there were small protests and a large online buzz denouncing the controversial move, but with most hot topics, the media died down, and the Manson star has largely been ignored or forgotten.

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