Dear Dirty America


Who Did You Vote For? Wall Street?

November 07
01:03 2012
Los Angeles

I’m so sick of seeing the Facebook and Twitter feeds filled with self-righteous voters proclaiming how excited they are that they voted for their favorite candidate. Mitt or Barack. FOUR MORE YEARS!!! some people’s posts say. Or, Save the Country! with Mitt Romney!

Dear Jesus, dear dirty America. You act like you’re going to save the country. Who did you vote for? For Wall Street? The major difference is if you voted for their favorite boy in 2008 (O), or if you cast your vote for their new man in 2012 (R). Either way, they’ve won.

If you voted for Obama, you’re right, he’s probably a safer bet for humanity than the other stooge. But I can’t imagine posting a Barack vote publicly like it’s an accomplishment. Like you should get your favorite candy bar from the grocery store for no charge.

You should hang your head in shame and despair at the fact you felt forced to vote for the lesser of evils. For a man who has eroded your civil liberties faster than even Bush Jr could have (NDAA, predator drones, assassination of Awlaki and his teenage son, Bradley Manning, Espionage Act overusage, and on, and on). Why, anyway, did you vote for Barack? Because he’s not named Mitt, probably.

“I voted for Obama ’cause he looks so good gettin out that presidential airplane,” I know some people think. And others, “I voted for Mitt so I can see those 12 million jobs come marching out of his ass as soon as he takes office.” Which would be quite a sight, I know. Instead of plopping them in China, maybe he would resurrect them here in America, but I doubt it.

Goodness, the idiocy in this country on Election Day. Barack Obama bailed out Wall Street and the major banks. He appointed Jeffrey Immelt, GE’s CEO, to help him figure out how to create more jobs in this country. But Immelt is largely responsible for the push among corporations to send jobs overseas (to China, China, China! as Bernie Sanders mockingly chanted). And then GE asked for billions in a bailout from the American taxpayers a few years later. And they got it. They also don’t pay any taxes. But you’ve heard about that already.

And Mitt Romney. What kind of a name is Mitt? Yes, Barack isn’t a pleasant name, either, but Mitt is an old, worn piece of leather used to catch a ball. It has had a hand stuck up the back of it for most of its active existence. Do we really want a President Mitt? Who has a wife with a bum right hand? Do we want to make him King? A portrait in the White House of a goofball with slicked hair who very tiredly looks like the quintessential used car salesman?


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