Dear Dirty America


Licking Dust From Jesus’ Toes

September 01
11:00 2012

(originally from Giving up a day of pay: if Murray miners knew truth about Romney/Ryan, they’d have stomped Mitt into the stage)

Would you give up a day of pay to see Mitt Romney lecture you about hard work and the American Dream?

I wouldn’t even give up a day of pay to go see Jesus speak, if he comes back before the world as we know it blows to hell. Wait, yes I would see him. I’d watch that degenerate Todd Akin slouch his way to the front of the crowd and get on one creaky knee at the feet of Jesus. “I was only trying to speak for you when I said there should be no abortions. No exceptions. Even in rape. Because women’s reproductive systems shut down during rape. I said it for you, Lord.”

What would Jesus say? “You want to protect and serve unborn humans more than you wish to serve your brother or sister? Then lick the dust from between my toes. You want to playact importance over people who are living, by ruling over what they do with the zygotes in their bodies? Then scrape the gunk from beneath my toenails with your teeth.”

In a burst of anger, like a flash of fire in a pan greased with cooking oil, Jesus would say, “Get up off this stage, man. Step up off people!”


Paul Ryan blows off Jesus’ head with powerful pistol

Miracle in Syria: angel caught on video

Bangladeshi birthday: Jesus’ toenail in a jar

Taking pictures with Batman as good as America gets

Hollywood Bowl: how one homeless man’s middle finger set the mood

Related Articles


No Comments Yet!

There are no comments at the moment, do you want to add one?

Write a comment

Write a Comment

Leave a Reply

Brave Media


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Dear Dirty America Copyright

© Dear Dirty America, 2011-2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dear Dirty America with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.