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Porn Industry Going Green: Making Environmentally-Conscious Sex Films

September 01
03:40 2011

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It’s very easy to see that the production of movies would use a lot of energy and resources — lights, cameras, transporting equipment to various locations near or far — but what about the shower scenes in porn films where the lead lady ends up propped onto the bathroom sink and then subsequently torn into by the male lead. Usually, the sex film stallion will go for at least thirty minutes, and all the while the viewer(s) at home or at the local adult film store can hear the shower running.

DO’Neil

That kind of environmentally unsound practice will no longer have a place within the porn industry. “We had all kinds of environmentally conscious viewers calling into our studios demanding smarter use of Earth’s precious resources. We listened,” said an industry insider. “We’re going green. From now on, in our adult films which feature a shower or bathroom setting, the water will not be running when it is not needed.”

The porn industry admits it wastes thousands of gallons of water every month while filming erotic shower scenes, and that the practice will immediately cease.


“It’s not just our waste of water,” the spokesman said referring to the industry’s uncouth water-wasting policies, “but it’s the inspiration our films give to couples at home who want to reenact their favorite sexy porn scenes in real life. We find, by studying amateur porn videos shot by non-industry people, but by folks with their own private cameras, they too start in the shower, but then, when the action ensues outside of the shower, they don’t think to simply turn off the water. We wish to change that.”

Exiled cultural philosopher and psychologist Hubert Humdinger (pronounced hum-din-jur) said the porn industry, although environmentally behind like every other industry, is still slightly ahead of the “going green game” with their unabashed attempts to change their policies for the better of humankind. “We see the porn industry fight back against health advocate groups calling for porn stars to wear condoms during every scene. Nobody’s worried about the lack of pleasure here,” Humdinger said over phone from his home in Northern Europe, “but condoms have become one of the key ways our world wastes perfectly good resources.”

When asked about Hubert Humdinger’s assessment of the porn industry’s reluctance to force their sex stars to wear condoms, the spokesman said, “Resource management has never been our stance on condoms, or safety. There are various reasons why a porn star might be reluctant to use a condom.”

Humdinger responded to the spokesman’s statement by saying, “There is no blood left in the brains of porn industry peoples. Their brains are starved for blood. Where is their blood going? It’s been pooling in their See-Oh-See-Kays for thirty plus years.”

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