Fox News Identifies the Real Culprit Behind Occupy Wall Street
Finally, after many weeks of serious journalistic integrity, Fox broke open the truth. OWS has been organized by the soldiering Charles Manson, who’s been locked away in prison since 1969.
“We had discovered the Occupiers were anti-Muslim, anti-black, and anti-Jewish. We knew that they were passing out condoms at Zuccotti Park, and they were taking drugs,” a Fox News official said. “Then we found out there were a bunch of homeless people sleeping in their camp, and that a fugitive was hiding out there.”
Saturday afternoon Fox released their astounding news. Charles Manson had orchestrated the movement from his lonely jail cell in Corcoran State Prison. “We suspected it all along,” the Fox official said, “but we didn’t want to break the story until the cold hard facts were in our hands. We’ve got them now, so we revealed the truth about the socialist movement going on in New York City.”
Everybody in the world should know, the official wished, that the Occupy Wall Streeters are fueled by a hippie cult leader and serial killer and crazed psychopath named Charlie Manson. “He killed Sharon Tate,” the official said, “and a bunch of other people. That seems to be the endgame at Zuccotti Park.”
Fox News is no stranger to Charles Manson. The network harshly criticized the Hollywood Walk of Fame for giving Manson a star for his contributions in music. “We at Fox News are disgusted, dismayed, and disheartened over the Manson star. It’s truly a sign of the awful state of affairs in our country today.”
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