Dear Dirty America


Scotland’s Independence Campaigns of Hypocrisy & Hysteria Gradually Grinding to a Halt

Scotland’s Independence Campaigns of Hypocrisy & Hysteria Gradually Grinding to a Halt
June 30
19:11 2014

Perthshire, Scotland

[This is the fourth installment of Blair’s running commentary on Scotland’s Independence campaign. See the first three here, here, and here.]

There has been much more nonsense and drivel spoken by both sides of the independence debate since I last wrote. Figures regarding the start up of an independent Scottish government have been plucked from the ether and bandied about as if they are written in stone and cannot be disputed.

A few hundred million here. A few hundred million there. It’s only money! Not one side or the other will be right, as any kind of political estimate should be regarded as suspicious and quadrupled immediately.

Talking heads, so boring, they might as well be cardboard cutouts, spout “fact” after “fact”, making any small amount of interest, trickle down the nearest drain.

We have had spin doctors on both sides attempt to make huge mistakes seem as if they haven’t ever been made. Calls for resignations of these spinners by other equally unpleasant spinners of reality are ignored by an increasingly bored populous.

The Pope says No! Oh no he didn’t, he really means Yes! President Obama says No, but it really was a coded Yes!

I could go on but I’m not a sadist.

Social media is feasting on this carcass of bullshit like Vultures on a dead Hippopotamus. Vile abuse is heaped on anyone who dares to criticise either side’s opinions. The Cybernats versus the Cybernots. If it wasn’t so unpleasant it would be hilarious. In fact it would make a great film. Can you imagine the image of huddled kilted plotters busy thinking up insults and abuse to hurl at the opposition if they are foolish enough to talk publicly about their beliefs?

Knitting Yes and No posters out of rough Harris tweed! Plotting dastardly deeds to upset their opponents, while eating huge plates of porridge with salt and water! All are true Scots without a vestige of underwear to be seen. When they eventually emerge from the dark caves and cellars, they find the world has moved on without them.

They are yesterday’s people who have been left behind by an intelligent population who find tribalism abhorrent and unnecessary.

Meanwhile back in the present, the nonsense goes on. And on and on! Mr Salmond tells us that Scotland will be a fairer society after independence. Since his party is in charge, why isn’t Scotland fairer now? I imagine he hasn’t thought this through. No mention about what would happen if the SNP lose an election. Would Scotland become a less fair place to live? He seems oblivious to that possibility.

Meanwhile,  Mr Darling tells us that the country will go bankrupt if Scotland votes for independence. Equally ridiculous.


I want to say…No

There have been people from both sides of the debate who have been vilified and abused for having the temerity to air their views in public. J.K. Rowling being one and a Labour supporter being smeared by one of Mr Salmond’s chief spinners. Oh and a “death threat” aimed at Mr Salmond himself!

This makes people nervous about speaking out and I actually know of people who when asked which side they’re voting for, say exactly what the questioner wants to hear.

I think some people feel it’s easier to say Yes than to be branded unpatriotic.

It is said the Labour party in Scotland used to count its votes by weight rather than by number, because it was so strong in the heavily populated industrialised areas in the central belt of Scotland.

This is not really the case now, as people have changed their outlook on most aspects of life. The Scottish Labour party didn’t change along with their core vote. It still seems odd that Labour oppose independence, as it’s probably the only way that they’ll ever hold any kind of power in any part of Britain again.

There is also an English dimension to voting here. Over the last twenty years or more, many people from south of the border have seen the possibilities and advantages of living in Scotland. Space and far more personal freedom for themselves and their children. A lot of them take more interest in local issues than the sometimes indifferent Scots. They are possibly going to vote for keeping the union as they obviously have strong links with England.

We now have the prospect of a debate between Mr Salmond and Mr Darling.

I can hardly wait! This threatens to be a complete waste of time but maybe, just maybe, it will be something to lift the tedium. This will be popular, as there aren’t many decent comedies on television these days.

Earlier in the month we had the unedifying spectacle of the First Minister (Salmond), attempting to play football while dressed in a suit. This should be discouraged at all times!

Nothing looks more embarrassing than a politician trying to look like they’re still young enough to get away with this kind of stunt! At one point he heads the ball and makes a face as if he has hit a house brick! Next is him kicking the ball and ending up looking like an escapee from Lord of the Dance.

He was ridiculed quite rightly for this idiocy. He has plenty of advisors to say Noooo. But then again, no isn’t a word he can hear! His toadying lackeys wouldn’t dare try to make him see the folly of this kind of stunt. It’s like baby kissing, no one comes out of it looking good.

This weekend has seen Armed Forces Day. Prime Minister David Cameron and First Minister of Scotland, Alex Salmond were in attendance in Stirling.  They completely ignored each other, showing just how adults should behave when disagreeing on something.

There is also the 700th anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn. There have been low key ceremonies without any political hooplah. This was seen as too solemn an event to have political points scoring, which I’m sure didn’t go down well in some places. I’m just getting a vision of Alex Salmond wearing a badly fitting kilt and a woad dyed face, riding a Shetland pony, shouting out lines from the movie at a cowering Alastair Darling.

Sadly this was not to be!

As there seems to be little chance of changing many people’s minds about voting preferences, the campaigns of both sides are gradually grinding to a halt. This has gone on longer than the gestation period of a Woolly Mammoth. The public have become immune to the pleadings of politicians. Hacking off their own ears with nail scissors would be more fun than listening to anymore “he said, she said”, from another earnest young party worker.

If they’re going to try and hold the public’s attention, then they have to behave in an adult way and have Jousting contests between the protagonists. Or pillow fights for the less squeamish. Much more fun than listening to another dry boring speech about how the other side don’t know their arse from a hole in the ground.

We need pizzazz! We need laughter! We need a break!

[Rowling photo by Drew Angerer; Salmond and ministers by Irekia]

Related Articles


  1. Peg
    Peg July 01, 09:46

    Another BRILLIANT piece by this talented author! His words flow like a refreshing cool breeze through a window on a hot, humid night!

    Reply to this comment

Write a Comment

Leave a Reply

Brave Media


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Dear Dirty America Copyright

© Dear Dirty America, 2011-2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dear Dirty America with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.