Dear Dirty America

For all the heat she’s taken, I have to applaud Michelle Obama and her Let’s Move! campaign on attempting to revolutionize (in a small way at least) the nation’s school lunch program. While her husband and his ilk order drone attacks and Tomahawk cruise missile strikes on villages in Yemen and Afghanistan that kill and maim other people’s children, at least someone is working hard for kids at home.

I spend a lot of time tearing into President Obama (scroll down and check it out just so you know). Not because I’m a Republican nor a Libertarian, but because I cannot stand the hypocrisy, the lies, and the selling of this country to foreign interests and elite financial powerhouses. When Bush did it in his clumsy manner, I was rabid about that, too.

But meanwhile, the GOP have slipped under my radar as I keep hammering Obama. I didn’t mean for it to be like that. The ongoing battle the Republicans are having with the First Lady’s school nutrition program, called Let’s Move, is an apt place to jump back into the game because it’s pathetic and a drain on our political system.

If you haven’t been paying attention, the Republicans have been crying foul ever since the First Lady started the program. “It’s tyranny!” “It’s big government telling your kids what to eat.” “Nobody’s gonna tell my kid how to eat, especially not that Michelle Obama.” Just imagine Rush Limbaugh shaking his soft fists and saying, “Oooh, the audacity of this woman. She forces kids to eat veggies, but then orders a rack of ribs while out at a restaurant.”

The truth is that Michelle Obama knows a hell of a lot more about nutrition than most American families. And that’s not saying much. She’s not David Wolfe. She proposes the very basics in extending a healthy, nutritious diet to our children while they are at school. More fruits and vegetables. Whole grains. Fewer simple carbohydrates. Limit fats, sugars, and sodium. Simple, but necessary improvements.

It’s not tyranny this time. It’s creating a school system that feeds its children food they can thrive on and fuel them through the day, rather than wink out ten minutes after eating dense, greasy hamburgers, fries, pizza, and other cheap filler junk foods. While it’s funny to see kids so fat their faces look squashed and their arms and legs look like Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters, the impact that lifestyle has on their adult lives is horrifying.

No matter who tries to advance this nation, they are demonized and destroyed by those politicians and their sheep from across the aisle.

Most recently, House Republicans are working on a spending bill for agriculture and food programs that would allow schools to opt out of the healthy rules for eating initiative if they are losing money after six months of implementing the program. It’s another push to get rid of the ‘nanny state’ that Michelle O is supposedly pushing.

At this juncture in American history, just take a look around the shopping mall some Sunday, and you’ll see a few extra fruits and vegetables, and fewer sugars and fats would do children a lifetime of good. Raising the standards of the school lunch system does not qualify as symptoms of a ‘nanny state’.

Your kids can still come home and eat microwaveable shit with you for dinner. In the morning, they can still get jacked up on Cocoa Puffs or whatever other boxed Kellogg nightmare cereal that contains over 10g of sugar a serving, and less than 2g of fiber you freely feed them.

Eating shit in America is one of the silliest disasters we’re facing. We thrive on quantity over quality. Cheap, comfortable, and convenient is the American way, and it’s destroying our healthcare system. Even our medical doctors take only one week of nutrition training in medical school.

Our children are not cattle that need to be fattened with three daily meals of mostly subsidized corn and enriched wheat flour products. They are already overly-medicated because they can’t sit still. They are also pumped full of vaccines (49 doses of 14 vaccines by the time they are six years old, and 69 doses of 16 vaccines by their eighteenth year, to be exact, courtesy of the CDC’s 2013 report). Beginning the long haul of transforming our school lunch program, bit by bit, is not detrimental, but a necessity.

Phase out the junk food. Raise the standards of health. If you hate Michelle Obama because she’s attempting to improve children’s eating habits, but then eats ribs after she’s done lecturing schools about healthier food options, than outdo her. Show her up.

Offer your own plan. Stand up, House Republicans, and say,

“I’m a Republican, and I think Michelle Obama is lousy because she’s advocating for whole wheat bread, and more fruits and vegetables in our school lunch lines. I propose that we make children take one soft dose of the single-celled, freshwater alga, Chlorella, each morning before their first class, and drink a green smoothie with Astragulus root and other superfoods for lunch, and then drink a raw cacao and organic fruit drink in the afternoon for that boost of energy to finish strong through the day. I’m tired of raising a nation of deadbeats. It’s time we raised quality children with the type of high-class care they deserve.”

The worst that diet could do would bring our test scores up to the international average.

Put Michelle Obama to shame by upping her plan and fighting for the healthiest, cleanest school lunch program possible. Again, your children can eat shit when they get home from school, just like you taught them.

OTHER REASONS TO LOATHE THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION

Local Koreatown man shits his pants, sends underwear to White House after NDAA bill is passed

The karmic opportunities of Barack Obama

President Obama boasts he is good at killing people

Obama uses George Zimmerman’s logic overseas

[Michelle Obama with school kids, photo by Joyce Boghosian; fat kid is Norman “Chubby” Chaney]