Dear Dirty America


California Distracted Driving: Google Glasses Goofball Cleared of Charges

California Distracted Driving: Google Glasses Goofball Cleared of Charges
January 16
19:41 2014

If you can’t do society the courtesy of removing your goddamned Google Glasses while driving down the freeway, then you should get a citation for distracted driving, and also for distracting other drivers who can’t help but look at you trying to be trendy and playact the new, evolved, modern, always-plugged-in zombie human.

I’m not a Luddite, but I do cringe at the pace in which our civilizations are sprinting down the winding, gloomy path of all-things technology.

Cecilia Abadie should be cited. The fact that Commissioner John Blair ruled she couldn’t be punished for using a smart device while driving puts the rest of us at risk as Google’s Glass will become more popular in the subsequent months and years, and will result in untold numbers of distracted drivers who will simply argue when they are pulled over by police that their devices weren’t turned on.

Well, it’s hard to prove one way or another. So, to be sure that you aren’t watching in your eyepiece kittens fondling each other on YouTube while cruising along America’s highway, just remove those smart glasses. We don’t need millions of Americans driving with smartphones wrapped around their faces.

Some people think I’m a relaxed hippie, but I am not lax on driving safety. I’ve been in a serious accident once. An 88-year old speed demon ripped through a red light without even tapping on her breaks. She slammed into me at 40 miles per hour. And she wasn’t even equipped with an awkward pair of smart glasses made by the Orwellian, always-at-your-service Google. So I get a little tense about these distracted driving issues.

It’s one thing to stumble around downtown with an ugly pair of glasses and feel like you’re from the future. But, if you’re truly not using them while you’re driving, take them off! Spare us the anxiety that you’re verbally sticking recipes onto your Pinterest account while guiding your half-a-ton vehicle through our hectic city streets.

Google Glass scuffle, ‘You wannabe, one-eyed Antichrist’

New Google Glass App to Address Issues of Distraction

[above graphic by Glogger]

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  1. Jim
    Jim February 10, 12:41

    I definitely would support legislation forbidding use of google glasses or any type of cell phones while driving. I came rather late to using a cell phone, but I thought it would be useful in an emergency. My experience with my one and only use of it while driving proved the danger; I was running late to a meeting, and in an effort to use it I swerved all over. First and last time–never again!!! Pull over if you must call; don’t answer if it rings.

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