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Can John McCain Get A Light? The Maverick Loosens Up About Marijuana

Can John McCain Get A Light? The Maverick Loosens Up About Marijuana
September 08
16:13 2013

John McCain, bucking the will of the American people as usual on his calling for an expansive military strike on Syria, finally seems to be bowing to the extreme pressures of violent US politics. It seems he needs to find relaxation. Dampen his jumpy nervous system. Chill out a little. And the old tumbler full of whiskey ain’t workin no longer. It may be time for the Maverick to explore other more potent, greener substances.

But what would happen if America’s ball of fire, cowboy politician took a puff of the magic stuff? Could the always sensible McCain maintain his reasonable stance on hot button issues, like bombing Iran and entrenching America and its allies into a regional conflict so complex and dangerous the world would be facing, at the very least, much higher fuel prices, and at the very worst World War III.

It’s not easy to live in the skull of a man always calling for more war, more airstrikes, more deployment of troops, more enhanced interrogation (or diminished torture). When the world looks like your battlefield, your life becomes more stressful than most.

Which is why perhaps, during an uncomfortable town hall meeting, John McCain seemed to ‘get it’ about marijuana. With the sweat rolling down his stiff back, his armpits sticky, and that pulsing goiterbeneath the left side of his face glistening under the hot lights, America’s proudest senator said maybe it’s time we legalize weed. Maybe it’s time Washington lets the American public take a load off because, frankly, they’re doing it anyway.

John McCain added that he is sensitive to the will of the American people. Unless it’s about less war. Then the people are wrong, and he is right, and he will push forward in light of that fact. History will be his judge. And if scientists get cracking on the proposed life-extension methods, McCain just may still be on earth in one hundred years to hear the assessment.

The McCain household is not unfamiliar with weed. Daughter Meghan admitted she’s smoked the stuff. In fact, she may have been under the influence of a THC spike during this Bill Maher Real Time session, where daughter McCain excuses herself from knowing about the Reagan administration because she wasn’t born yet:

There is growing momentum to nationally legalize marijuana. Twenty states have legalized weed for medicinal purposes. Colorado and Washington state already fully legalized pot, and the Department of Justice finally gave their word that they wouldn’t invade any more pot shops as long as the states took ample care to keep the green drug out of the hands of minors and prevent interstate smuggling.

Will America fully legalize marijuana in the next five years? Will this relax the Drug War? Will legal pot sap some of the power of the Mexican drug cartels? Will other drugs be legalized in the future?

What will a doped up America be like? Will our society be even more passive to the actions of a criminal Wall Street ruling class and a war hawk Congress and president? “Shit man, I don’t like war, but shit man, what can I do about it?” might be the relaxed mantra of a perpetually high, dope zealous nation. But then again, that’s already the mantra.

Charles Bukowski, for all his faults, would tell John McCain to stick to whiskey and wine:

[photo by Mark Nozell]

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