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Your Garbled Text Message Could Save Your Life?

March 22
21:37 2013
“I’m staying away from that damn text messaging from now on…”
–Dick “Francis” Cheney

Well, only if somebody receives it and understands it as a symptom to a larger problem. Like the early signs of a stroke. Don’t be so quick to sneer and text back, Huh? when you get that muddled, indecipherable text message.

An article in Slate tells us:

[The] stroke is the No. 1 cause of serious, long-term disability in the United States, and the third leading cause of death, most of us know a friend or family member who’s had one. This also means we’re at least anecdotally familiar with the warning signs—sudden numbness, blindness, trouble speaking, severe headache, or loss of coordination. But mounting evidence now suggests there’s a new symptom to be aware of, one that may even allow us to sound the alarm remotely: the garbled text message.

This was Dick Cheney’s first indication that something wasn’t right with him, when he received his first cell phone with the text and auto correct functions, and instead of allowing him to type “I possibly suspect” into his phone, the damned device kept transforming “suspect” into “Satan”.

One can almost hear the former head of the Bush administration howl with rage. “But I didn’t even indicate I wanted a capital ‘s’!” So, if anything, it should have been “satan”. And how does one get Satan out of suspect, anyway?

That’s a larger question of subconscious intent, or possibly technological sentience. It’s almost like that cell phone knew whose fat fingers were manipulating its buttons.

Beware of strokes, my friends, and other such maladies that may wreak havoc on your day to day activities in this esteemed modern world.

SEE ALSO

The most dangerous hour…but why?

In memory of hundreds of fish killed in a traffic accident

State trooper shoots from helicopter and kills two

Life is a Boston tea party

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