Dear Dirty America


President Obama Spotted In Two Places At Once

President Obama Spotted In Two Places At Once
December 27
20:22 2012


HAWAII / WASHINGTON – Is President Obama really in Washington? He was slated to arrive at the White House Wednesday evening, and according to his staff, he’s there and working hard on drafting a deal to avoid the fiscal cliff. His family, still in the Christmas spirit, is to remain in Hawaii.

But sources have come forward to say they’ve seen Obama and his security members splashing in the waves just off the Hawaiian beach near where the First Family is staying.

“Something’s fishy here,” said Peter Jomley, a tourist who flew to Hawaii to get a glimpse of the president. “I’ve been obsessed with President Obama for a few years now,” he said, “and I wanted to get a picture of him, no matter how far away.”

Jomley managed to sneak close enough to the president’s quarters and hide behind a row of bushes. “I used my long range zoom camera lenses and got some pretty good shots of him without his shirt on.”

This was Thursday morning, many hours after president Obama was said to have arrived in Washington, D.C. Jomley hadn’t heard the president was already back in his office working feverishly to avoid the ‘cliff’, but when he logged onto his computer to triumphantly upload his pics of the president, he read the news.

“How can this guy be in two places at once?” Jomley asked himself. He reviewed the three pictures he’d snapped of a slightly hazy, but still well-defined Barack Obama. “Suddenly I had a lot of questions. The major news sites were saying the president was in his office almost halfway around the world, yet here I was holding proof that he was still on vacation.”

Shortly after Jomley uploaded the pictures to his blog, My Barack Obama, they were mysteriously taken down, and all his posts (99 of them) had been removed. Jomley is outraged and is still working to contact the administrators about resolving the missing content.

“I’ve put a lot of work into that site. My love and honor for this president has been tarnished,” he said. “I know it was the Secret Service who removed the pictures and sabotaged my blog. But I’m not supposed to say that.”

Jomley said he has been called repeatedly by security services and asked how he breached the presidential barricade. “They have me under investigation as being a possible terrorist because I snuck so close. It’s not like I took a shot with a high-powered rifle.”

Now, after a few innocent pictures, Jomley is sniffing out what he considers a much bigger, more complicated reality surrounding the president. “How is he in two places at once?” he asks again and again. “Is there an Obama clone?”  he asked, but admitted he hated making such drastic conclusions. The harried tourist said he has threatened to contact Fox News, because, he thinks, they are the only organization who will take his claim seriously. “I’ll get to the bottom of it.”

Soon, we hope.

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