Dear Dirty America


If Only You Knew How Violent the Children Are In Gaza

November 19
21:00 2012

Israel’s worst nightmare: children gearing up for war

(editor’s note: in response to this article, see Raising the Ire of a 4th Grade Teacher)

If this particular passage upsets you, it shouldn’t. There’s no need to worry. Israel knows what she’s doing:

An Israeli airstrike here on Sunday killed 10 members of one family, mostly women and children, marking the deadliest single attack and worst civilian tragedy since the current fighting in the Gaza Strip began last week.

Oh I know, it sounds bad. Women and children. Jesus, Israel, blow your own head off your shoulders, would ya? But that’s not the proper response here.

In this case, this latest surge of violence in Gaza, killing children is not as harsh as it seems. Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu knows that these Palestinians raise their children like dogs. Hungry dogs with gnashing teeth who know only how to snarl. So, when people say, O, the children, Netanyahu says, but do you know what kind of children? If only you knew.

These children in Gaza. They aren’t just like vicious dogs. They can actually hold weapons. Rocket launchers and AK-47s. Not that they have much access to guns, or food, for that matter, since Israel has taken back the land dedicated to Palestine by the UN, but graciously left a few measly strips to the Palestinians and then built up enormous security walls around them to keep out any sustenance. Also, nobody in Israel wants to see these miserable people, anyway. The higher the walls, the better, they say.

But they’re children, you keep saying. Israel is not just killing innocent men and women, but children! Well, anybody with a modicum of common sense knows Gaza raises its children to be terrorists. Right from birth. Their earliest memories are violent ones.

How must the families of slain children feel? In Gaza, they feel surprisingly little. The only obvious reason they have children is to raise them to be fighters who will eventually topple Israel. When the family’s children are murdered by an army run by a tyrannical country, there is not sadness. Nobody weeps. The people in Gaza only work harder to reproduce more in hopes of soon building an army.

Israel knows this. Barack Obama, who has said he fully supports Israel’s military strikes, knows this. That’s why these men and their families never lose a wink of sleep over this petty killing. When they close their eyes, they don’t see the shreds of human bodies crushed beneath bricks and dust and glass. They don’t imagine the charred mattress or busted kitchen table.

Do you beat yourself up over that roach flipping onto its back and finally becoming still? Do you feel saddened over how fast its legs could move before you sprayed it with a sharp stream of chemicals in a pressurized can you bought from the grocery store?

Well, what are Palestinian men, women, and children to the politicians of Israel and the US, if not scurrying vermin?

The worst thing that could happen in this Israel, Palestinian war (well, really it’s not a war if Palestine doesn’t have an army), is if a rogue rocket zipped through Israel’s “iron dome” and struck the prime minister’s house.

That would be very sad. Especially if he was inside the house when the rocket struck. That wouldn’t be helpful to anyone on this planet searching for peace. If a sailing rocket slammed into Bibi’s quarters, that wouldn’t be a serendipitous moment at all. It would be a great tragedy, especially since we know how wonderful and humble he is. He’s only defending his people, after all. Defending, and defending, and defending.



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  1. Anonymous
    Anonymous November 19, 23:04


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  2. Anonymous
    Anonymous November 19, 23:11

    you are literally the most disgusting individual. I am an american who has been to palestine on several occasions and your statements are disgustingly immoral and uneducated. You are calling all the children basically insects and deserve to die. You are a sick human being and obviously very ignorant if you are saying that every child is raised to be terrorists? tell me adam, how many times have you been to palestine? None of these children are raised as terrorists, and NO CHILD deserves to die at the hands of these filthy israelis. Worse than the holocaust, and they are turn around to do the same thing to others. You need help for even posting this and you are beyond scum. Embarrassed to even consider you a human being. Obviously you were raised to be a heartless, ignorant despicable human being. but we will leave it up to god to deal with you

    -American 4th grade teacher

    Reply to this comment
  3. Anonymous
    Anonymous November 19, 23:15

    who let this fucking dumbass post anything?

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  4. Anonymous
    Anonymous November 19, 23:19

    you are a sick individual.

    Reply to this comment
  5. Anonymous
    Anonymous November 21, 17:10

    JHC, people. It’s satire!

    Reply to this comment
  6. Anonymous
    Anonymous November 21, 18:44

    Clearly, nobody understands sarcasm anymore. Voltaire would be frightened by you (decent-hearted, slow-witted) people. Except for ‘fourth grade teacher’, whose “filthy Israelis” comment sort of underlines the article’s intent.

    Reply to this comment
  7. Anonymous
    Anonymous November 22, 01:13

    There should be a warning in blinking lights at the top of this blog which clearly states the author is quite obviously “not right” or at the very least a detour page filled with shiny happy photos of a non-realistic world for those who can’t take the heat.
    If the satirical articles on this blog are lost to your unimaginative personality, perhaps this isn’t the place for you.
    The articles are dripping with sarcasm. Tension and wadded panties are obviously side effects of this which, I’m guessing the author, that weirdo, expects from those that don’t get “it”.
    I, myself, understand the hidden meaning behind the sarcasm. I enjoy the read and most often get the point. If the words are too big or the author starts running off on some tangent about soy milk, I simply turn away.
    I’m not claiming to be as intelligent as an American 4th grade teacher, who is unfamiliar with the proper uses of punctuation or capitalization, by any means, but I can enjoy a good article when I see one and take it for it’s worth.
    Please note, I am not claiming to be an expert in punctuation or capitalization…I was being sarcastic.

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