Dear Dirty America


Under NDAA Pres Obama Considers Detaining Himself

February 10
08:30 2012
Dear Dirty Newswire

WASHINGTON — President Obama was overheard telling Vice President Joe Biden that under the expansion and renewal of the NDAA bill, he would have to consider detaining himself as a possible terrorist threat to Americans. It is assumed the president didn’t know he’d left his microphone on after finishing up a $45,000/plate fundraising dinner.

“It’s not that I’m a possible terrorist threat,” the president said, “but more like a realized one. When I go over the statistics in my mind, I see a bleak picture. It just hit me, Joe.”

Joe Biden could be seen nodding and smiling.

“I mean, look, Anwar al-Awlaki was bad enough. He was a quasi-renowned blogger with a few anti-American ideals. It’s not like we had any real evidence to take him out. I murdered a US citizen without giving the guy his due process.”

Joe Biden mentioned Awlaki was a technical terrorist.

“Well, I could have given him a trial,” the president said. “What’s worse, I then gave the orders to take out Awlaki’s sixteen year old son and the son’s friend. I’m beginning to think I’m going to pay for this in the next life. Hell, under this NDAA bill, I should have the US military detain me.”

Obama went on to say his expansion of the predator drone program has successfully taken out over seven hundred innocent civilian Pakistanis, as well as an untold number of women and children in Afghanistan.

The part of the NDAA bill Obama referred to reads: “DISPOSITION UNDER LAW OF WAR.–The disposition of a person under law of war as described in subsection (a) may include the following: (1) Detention under the law of war without trial until the end of the hostilities authorized by the Authorization for Use of Military Force.”

And also under section 1022, “APPLICABILITY TO UNITED STATES CITIZENS AND LAWFUL, RESIDENT ALIENS.– Read the entire bill here.


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