Dear Dirty America

Can somebody please explain to me the insane behavior of Israeli Drivers? I feel that it is an open miracle every day that I am not killed on the roads here, God forbid.

So it makes you wonder: where on earth on these drivers going? Are they off to an important meeting in Manhattan? Or maybe a multi-million dollar deal? Or maybe a meeting with the President? No.

Most Israelis make less than a hundred dollars a day. They are not running to make money.

The only possible and true explanation is that Israelis are impulsive, they are like a guy who is desperate to go pee. Israelis driving on the street actually believe that they are racecar drivers, and that the street is the track at the Indianapolis 500.

For Israelis, it is a matter of personal pride to be the first to shoot off as soon as the light turns green [actually here by the time the light turns yellow, there is no one left standing]. Israelis would consider it beneath their dignity if someone had the nerve to drive first.

In the same way that Israelis stick their heads into any possible opening, whether invited or not, whether it’s your personal bedroom or bathroom, they stick their cars into any possible opening on the road, even if you happen to be trying to cross or there is an old lady walking by.

In the same way Israelis are by nature rude and have no concept of politeness, their driving behavior shows the same dreadful character.

You have been forwarned. Drive or walk on a street in Israel at your own peril. My advice: stay clear 100 feet away from any Israeli street, or for that matter, from any live Israeli.

Nosson Dovid Kohn can be reached at his Facebook account.