Dear Dirty America

DDA

5.9 Earthquake Felt in Washington After Every Unemployed American Jumps In Unison

August 23
19:16 2011
DEAR DIRTY AMERICA

Akirathedon

A 5.9 magnitude earthquake was felt in Washington D.C. Tuesday afternoon after every unemployed, jobless, frustrated American jumped in the air, in unison, at exactly 1.51pm EDT. The massively choreographed event is still being investigated, and officials are baffled at how so many millions of Americans could attempt such a harmonious act.

“If Washington could get their act together, they could also create something momentous,” exiled cultural philosopher Hubert Humdinger (pronounced hum-din-jer) said. “But I’m confused, because if every jobless American jumped and landed at 1.51pm, I would think the Richter scale would have registered far higher than it did. Maybe around 7 or 8.”

Washington officials haven’t said if they wish to pursue criminal charges against the person(s) responsible for inspiring this massive effort. “It’s illegal to create earthquakes, even in protest,” an anonymous White House insider said. “But we know people are frustrated.”

White House hires creative counselor to help lawmakers imagine what joblessness feels like

Related Articles

0 Comments

No Comments Yet!

There are no comments at the moment, do you want to add one?

Write a comment

Write a Comment

Leave a Reply

Subscribe

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Dear Dirty America Copyright

© Dear Dirty America, 2011-2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dear Dirty America with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.