Dear Dirty America

The wild headline at PJ Media alarms us to the notion that it’s possible anybody on earth can sign up for Medicaid under the new Obamacare regulations. So, obviously, the headline reads “MEDICAID FOR AL-QAEDA?” Because those would be the first people to sign up for United States healthcare.

So says the article (bold emphasis not mine):

This “enroll first, confirm later” regulation, combined with the ACA’s easing of verification requirements, allows anyone, from a computer anywhere in the world, to successfully auto-enroll for 90 days of Medicaid by entering fraudulent information about being a certain category of legal alien living in the United States.

There is no guarantee that state governments will take action to cancel these enrollments at the end of each application’s 90-day period if identification is never provided. The cancellation of unverified enrollments is left to each state’s available manpower and political will.

Naturally we would worry about terrorists overseas signing up for free healthcare plans, scoring them for at least 90 days, and hoping the state in which they signed up is too lazy or disorganized to cancel their plans. How wounded or sick members of Al Qaeda would get into the United States to receive their medical treatment and use their new Medicaid plans is a different issue.

I’d say this new Obamacare flaw that allows anyone on earth to sign up for Medicaid should be used where it’s needed, such as for folks in Afghanistan who have suffered injuries from drone strike blasts. They don’t all die, contrary to what it sounds like on the news. When an Obama administration drone attack hits a village, sometimes innocent people nearby lose limbs, get pummeled with shrapnel, and suffer horrible burns that result from missile attacks.

Associated Pulp has briefly documented the struggles of the Rahimi family in Afghanistan as they attempt to sign up for coverage with the Affordable Care Act so they can afford to get prostheses for their daughter, who lost the lower half of both of her legs in a Hellfire missile attack.

Nobody knows how these rumors that drone strike victims in Afghanistan can apply for Obamacare health insurance, but the Rahimi family is willing to sit around the local library’s computer for hours hoping that Healthcare.gov will actually process their information and not time out. They are sure they will prevail.

At first that story sounds outlandish, but after revelations today about the flaw in the Affordable Care Act, we could see all kinds of people overseas looking for cheaper American Cadillac health insurance plans.

Exiled and long forgotten cultural philosopher Hubert Humdinger spoke to me about this from his undisclosed home in Northern Europe. “First of all,” he shouted at me over Skype, “the White House considers anybody wounded in a drone or Tomahawk cruise missile strike to be a terrorist. It doesn’t matter if you’re a grandma working in her garden, or a child playing outside the marketplace that gets blown to shreds! If the missile lands nearby, you must be guilty of something or other.”

Humdinger leaned up close to his webcam so I could see stuck between his blocky teeth the spinach he’d eaten earlier that day. “Obama taketh away, so Obama should be willing to giveth!” he said, after we’d discussed the irony of people in Pakistan and Afghanistan being severely injured on the president’s orders suddenly seeing light at the end of the tunnel in the way of possible affordable healthcare in America. [photo from HHSgov]