Dear Dirty America


What Did John Boehner Say?

January 04
12:00 2013
The frat boys’ tightrope act, by Quinn Dombrowski

An interesting snippet at the end of an article about Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) throwing Obama’s fiscal cliff negotiations into his blazing fireplace took me by surprise:

Negotiations shifted from Reid to Biden just days after an unusually intense exchange at the White House, right outside the Oval Office, between Reid and House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio). As Politico first reported, when Boehner saw Reid — who earlier that morning had accused Boehner of being more concerned about his speakership than getting a deal — he let Reid know how he felt about the charge.
“Go fuck yourself,” Boehner advised.

Normally, I might be inspired by such a crude defense of one’s person. Especially if I’ve just been insulted by a man as filled with bullshit as I am, I might use such a response. But these congressmen are so dreadfully boring and inept there is very little personal integrity and substance to justify Boehner’s oafish response. And Reid is not much better.

As the exchange between these men suggests, there is hardly a shred of professionalism in these goofballs. The level of self-importance among these men ratchets up the tension and creates, I suppose, interactions like the one above.

I’m reminded of fraternity meetings in college where “Go fuck yourself” was common parlance. But so were snuggies and wedgies and beer bongs. What do Reid and Boehner talk about during other more pleasant times of the year, when there isn’t a fiscal cliff to worry about? How many women they’ve banged? Their sexual conquests and how much booze they can throw back in the space of a few hours?

The American public senses just how awful and decrepit and incompetent our political system and its players have become. Congress has an eighteen percent approval rating. They’ve been in a rut for a few years now. We know how dire our situation is, and there is very little hope of our government fixing it. Some days, it seems like an eighteen percent approval rating is generous. One hundred people asked if they approve of the job Congress is doing, and eighteen of them shrug their shoulders and say, “Sure, why not?”

Yet, the president still worked to get these people a pay raise. He signed an executive order to do it. But the bill that postponed the “fiscal cliff” has actually postponed the pay raise. Should these old, constipated, eternal frat boys make more money at the beginning of the year?

Should the man who told the Senate Majority Leader to “you know what” get $1,100 more next year? He would be making $224,600 a year.

After reading about the slipshod ‘deal’ the Republicans and Democrats so graciously (for our sakes!) cobbled together, I don’t think Boehner’s response was just for Harry Reid. After all, some of the biggest winners of the fiscal cliff deal were not the American people, but NASCAR, Wall Street, and Goldman Sachs.

So really, John Boehner’s response, on behalf of Congress and the White House, should have been leveled at the American people:

Go fuck yaselves!


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