Dear Dirty America


Jack In the Box’s Marry Bacon Signals the End of Civilization

April 06
20:08 2012
Los Angeles

I don’t know how long this Jack In the Box commercial has been out there (I suspect for quite some time). I’m too agitated to describe it in detail, but on the other hand, I hate to make you watch it if you haven’t seen it. It’s 31 seconds of pure feculence.

The shit-for-brains protagonist tells his ma he’s going to get married. Who’s the girl, ma asks. It’s not a girl, the son says, it’s bacon. And from there the ad repeatedly pounds the viewer in the face with mind blowing levels of depravity. At the end of the clip, a priest has married the young man and that disgusting piece of garbage fast food, and the priest exclaims, You may now eat the bride!

The dirty sexual implication is there, along with the smothering of whatever was sacred about marriage or love or commitment.

Comedian Bill Hicks a decade or more ago said all the people in marketing departments should kill themselves. No, seriously, he kept saying, I’m not joking. If you’re in marketing or advertising, kill yourselves.

I cringed at Hicks’ abrasiveness, because really, nobody should be told to kill themselves, and while I admire harsh comedy and dark humor, it seemed a bit rough. But Bill was seeing something back then that I’ve only been awakened to for a few years. This incessant transmission of trash is really a dire sign for our species.

The end of civilization, humanity, purposefulness, and society, through marketing and advertising. Corporate ads peddling the most shallow, superficial, and materialistic worldviews to a mass public far too stupid to catch on or realize they have an alternative.

Which makes commercials like the one posted above so painful to watch. In a red-blooded society, if this slop came onto television, nobody using that gift of human intelligence and cognizance would put up with it. The TVs would turn off, and nobody would eat at Jack In the Box again. Also, fat hamburgers pumped with pink slime juice and loaded with toxic strips of processed bacon would inherit that negative Pavlovian response.

In short, a responsible society would be mostly turned off by the commercial above, and if it kept playing, there would be massive revolution. The people in power, peddling empty calorie commercials like that (and most ads aren’t much more sophisticated or respectful) would have their throats slit by a community eager to retain a standard of ethics and morals that might not be fully defined, but are certainly known to be loftier than the filth on the tube.

In conclusion, the folks who continue to pump out of their bullshit factories cheap and senseless propaganda that would make a retarded monkey embarrassed to even have arms and legs somewhat similar to human beings, should kill themselves. Jump off cliffs. Start themselves on fire. Help big Pharma out buying three thousand sleeping pills, but make sure you use them. I don’t care how it gets done. But do Darwin a favor and help “survival of the fittest” progress.

Our society has been constructed to somehow promote these spineless land creatures, and help them flourish, even though their sleaze has destroyed a humanity that might have been beautiful.

See also: the dumbing down of smarting up and corporate colonies: the mass production of the American Dream

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