Dear Dirty America


Bank of America is Fouling Up Our Society

April 14
14:30 2012
Los Angeles

Credit: Cathy

If you don’t hate Bank of America yet, there’s another telling story in the LA Times that should get you a couple steps closer despising the financial institution. I once wrote a satirical news item about Bank of America killing itself in a gruesome, gun-to-the-head manner, and bloodying multiple city blocks of Charlotte, North Carolina, with putrid, rotting gore.

Inside the guts of BofA,there is a lot of fetid, raunchy corruption, and its fouling up our society. The only problem is that BofA isn’t doing the honorable thing, and killing itself in one easy movement, but is slowly poisoning itself with fraudulent activity, like criminal foreclosures, deceptive user fees, and risky mortgage-backed securities (which BofA’s CEO is getting sued over right now).

And all the while, CEO Brian Moynihan, back in October, was angry and frustrated at how many people hated him and his bank. After all the local contributions and charity work his institution had made, here were those Occupy people, and a whole lot more giving him grief over a few minor, billion-dollar discrepancies.

Let’s fast forward to today’s Times article, about a woman named Dirma Rodriguez, and her severely disabled 27 year old daughter. Let’s keep in mind statements about Moynihan’s claims of charity and goodwill, and serving customers well.

Rodriguez has lived in her home for more than 25 years. She took out a loan from BofA to retrofit her house, to better suit her disabled daughter. She fell behind on her payments, so BofA lowered her monthly payment, as a good community bank would do, to keep her business.

With the lowered monthly payment, Rodriguez could keep up, except that behind her back, BofA sold her house at a foreclosure auction, to a “house flipper from El Segundo”. Rodriguez got notice to evict.

What’s scary is that a bank could auction off a house, and leave the occupants subject to the will of a new owner, even after a new monthly payment deal had been reached. What’s even more egregious about the situation is that Bank of America should be on its scabby knees praying for mercy from the American public after receiving a $45 billion bailout package from the American taxpayer (not that most taxpayers agreed, but our president and congress handed out our money for us).

Thankfully, Moynihan’s nemesis, Occupy Fights Foreclosure (a group stemming from the primary Occupy Wall Street movement) came to the rescue and, it seems, saved Rodriguez’s home. BofA capitulated and is in a new loan modification discussion with Rodriguez that may allow her to keep her home.

Imagine your ugly cousin asks you for $10,000, or else he’s going to go bankrupt. You have the money (even though you don’t really have it), and you loan it to him. He says it’s for the best, anyway, otherwise you’d have to see him suffering like fly scrambling to pull free from a slushy pile of cow shit, and that would tear down your own standard of living.

Fast forward a couple of years. You haven’t received thanks or repayment on that ten grand from your greasy cousin, but you’ve noticed that he’s driving a newer model car, and wears flashier clothing, even though he looks like a buffoon. One day you meet him at a bar for a cold one, and you say, Ugly Cousin, you should get my drink. After all, he owes you a good amount of money.

Instead of agreeing, your goofy cousin refuses to pay, and claims you unfairly hate him and forgot how nice a guy he is, and insists you pay for his drink. You pay for your own drink and leave the bar. The next day, your cousin buys matches and a few gallons of gasoline (which he sniffs from time to time), and then burns down your house. Because he can, because he’s got the power.

As a society, with the bailout, we’ve made it possible for BofA to take a few more breaths and live on a couple more years, even though the bank looks, to me, like it will fail in the near future — its stocks are worth nothing, and it has over $70 trillion worth of toxic derivatives (which it dumped on the US taxpayer, with federal approval). BofA is on death watch.

But with that bailout money, the bank continues to hardball its customers, and drastically punish them for being unable to keep up payments in a very depressed economy. If you get a reprieve from your debt holder, and then you go home and slit the throat of the man who owes you pennies, you deserve to burn in the flames of Hell.

In conclusion, we might wrap up this screed with a quote from Huffington Post‘s Jason Linkins (who never returns my messages, but that’s life):

Why was Consumerist so hard on Bank Of America? Well, perhaps after doing a little bit of thinking, they realized, “Oh, hey, we’ve published tons of pieces attesting to Bank Of America’s awfulness! Like the time the bank got an address wrong and foreclosed on the wrong home. Or the time they made mortgage payment demands from someone who wasn’t their customer. Or the time they threatened a customer with foreclosure if he didn’t make a prompt payment of $0.00. I mean, I could go on and on.

This bank is out of control, absurd, and makes no apology for terrorizing our general public like its owned and operated by Al Qaeda. If there is any real use for the 30,000 predator drones coming to America, it might be to wipe off the face of this nation (and hopefully the planet) every Bank of America establishment. And in those empty spaces I’m sure nothing could grow for decades afterward. And any building erected in those old BofA spots would be haunted, I’m sure, by predatory demons and drifting entities so full of their own shit they would frighten each other.

BofA has got to go. It’s dying, anyway, and if we don’t help it along, it’s going to drag us through more undeserved misery. If you have an account there, look into moving your money to community banks. You’ll get more for your money, and you won’t have the continued hassle of hidden fees and price gouging.

See also, Bank of America commits suicide, Not every bank is as dirty as BofA 

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