Dear Dirty America


Kim Kardashian Made So Much Money at Her Wedding She Could Fund This Blog

August 21
21:44 2011
David Shankbone

The Kardashians scored big yet again with Kim’s wedding to a guy named Kris Humphries. Like Kris Kringle, except Humphries. Kim and Kris spent millions on their wedding, no doubt, but they also made anywhere between $10-20 million by selling their picture rights to People and for a two-part TV special called “Kim’s Fairy Tale Wedding: A Kardashian Event”.

For some of the readers of this blog, that title might invoke a serious gagging reaction, but to me, I find it precious and a warm, fluid feeling of love and kindness travels up my spine and threatens to explode in my head. Fairy tale weddings are grand.

With that kind of heartless ‘cash flow’ the new Kardashian couple could make a one-time donation of one million dollars to Dear Dirty America, and they wouldn’t even feel it! They weren’t hard up for cash to begin with, and now they are even less needing of such large sums of money.

Investing in Dear Dirty America wouldn’t be an awful idea. This blog is on its way up. Accolades are on their way from very prominent world citizens who will call the blog “wildly intelligent” and “so over the top it makes good goddamned sense.” And so on.

Beyond silence

The famous cultural philosopher and pariah psychologist Hubert Humdinger (pronounced hum-din-jer) said the reality star’s Fairy Tale wedding special should instead be called “Kim’s Fairy Tale Wedding: While 450,000 Somalian Children Starve to Death”.

But that’s too harsh, Humdinger! That’s too harsh!

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  1. Anonymous
    Anonymous August 21, 22:36

    why u need to be funded ?

    Reply to this comment
  2. Anonymous
    Anonymous May 03, 20:28


    Reply to this comment
  3. Adam Michael Luebke
    Adam Michael Luebke June 20, 22:56

    I can’t possibly express how emotionally touched Humdinger was to see this comment. As you probably know, as an icon, Humdinger is only a shadow of his former self, after the US govt burned all his books in ’71. He is still, however, as sharp as he ever was, if not more so.

    Reply to this comment

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