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Hollywood & Highland: Lyle Shove-It Says Police Should Have Shot Everybody

July 28
17:18 2011
Famous Hollywood bum and oracle Lyle Shove-It was not thrilled about having his territory torn up by a bunch of rowdy skateboarding punks and feeble-minded hipsters. At least that’s how Shove-It describes the crowd that got out of hand last night and caused police to apply force to disperse the gathering.

Oakland CA: Finding Lyle Shove-It in the Cathedral of Christ the Light’s holy water fount

Credit: Matthew Woitunski

 “I would have shot every last one of them in the head,” Lyle Shove-It says, “if I were on the police force.” We are sitting in the 101 Coffee Shop with Marvin. Marvin had just told his story about throwing the first bottle at police to get the riot started.

“You wouldn’t have shot me,” Marvin says rapidly in his high-pitched voice. “I’d have spanked your ass before you got a chance to whip out your gun.”

Lyle made his hand look like a pistol and aimed it at Marvin’s face. “You’re dead,” he said.

Our gorgeous server asked if we needed more water. She frowned every time she came to our table because Lyle smells awful. He sleeps on park benches. He doesn’t shower. He’s homeless. We’ll take more coffee, I said, please, dear.

“I can’t have no more,” Marvin says, “because I’m dead.”

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