Dear Dirty America

DDA

Don’t Tell Me To Wear A Tinfoil Hat

August 11
10:00 2012

Google’s advertisement atop my email account simply said:
You can make a lovely hat out of previously-used aluminum foil.

Have they been reading my work at Dear Dirty America? Or my private emails?
How do they know I’m so prone to believing tinfoil hat conspiracy theories?
I told the mailman the other day that in the very near future, the
US / NATO will not have to invade puny
countries like Afghanistan, or deny ordering
Tomahawk missile strikes on villages in Yemen.
In the very near future, in fact it’s started already,
the metal and chemical missiles and bombs will be saved
for places like Iran. The Katy Perry bomb will be used instead.
It will destroy an ancient village culture
more rapidly and more efficiently than any other weapon.
If there’s a One World Government / New World Order agenda,
it’s the quickly forming global
Monoculture. Whichever nation has the most satellites and biggest antennas
and the guns and money to secure them, wins.
It’s cultural obliteration.
Dear Jesus, I feel fucked this time. Google is Orwell’s telescreen.
And now they’re sending
cryptic lines of text that paralyze me while I listen to
the blood thump in my ears. Is Google taunting me?
I don’t even own tinfoil. It’s not a product I put to use in my kitchen.
Perhaps this sniveling message is in relation to the important (and forbidden) work I’ve been
doing on the Queen of England. Working toward a Pulitzer. If Google is teasing me, I can handle it,
but this and the last are not great decades for humorous barbs about paranoia.
There is no such thing as paranoia in this new century. Not
in this society. If you’re not paranoid, you’re mentally deranged or mentally challenged.
If you don’t feel the Great Jaws of the mighty and powerful slowly closing in, you might be
asleep. You can wake up, but you don’t have to, because it’s too late to stop the coming Squeeze.
I guarantee it.

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