Dear Dirty America

As Celebrity Gobbler (a slightly unhinged contributor to this blog) would write about Freddie Mercury: You were sent to earth by God, and it was to Heaven you returned!

I can’t be completely certain Celebrity Gobbler would say that, but I’m about eighty-five percent sure she would. She’s an expert on celebrities, and celebrity worship in the world. She’s currently on vacation. She’s a loose Siren.

I fell in love with Freddie Mercury after watching him strut along the stage while only wearing short, tight white jean shorts. He was a madman and a genius.