Dear Dirty America

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NFL Fans Are Jugheads, but They Are Doing Good for Celebrities

August 24
16:35 2011
Who the hell indeed is Adam Michael Luebke because I certainly don’t know other than his foofy girly photo and his pitchfork tongue! Celebrity Gobbler likes him, but she maintains that he is severely misguided — his latest screed about sports is all wrong.

He has upset a fair number of football fans, and since Luebke likes when I guest blog on DDA, I’m going to unleash my greatest personal insight on the NFL jughead issue, and why Luebke’s right about calling NFL fans beer and sausage-brained imbeciles, but he’s missing one very crucial point: the NFL celebrities need those jugheads to buy expensive mansions, private jets and yachts, and maintain the lifestyle of millionaires and billionaires.

Without the NFL jugheads, the celebrities lose out, and if non-celebrities like sports jugheads aren’t supporting celebrities then they have no right being on earth. Celebrity Gobbler has said this all along and she will continue to preach it to all who have ears to hear.
CG is probably shouting to the choir, but the truth and reality is simple in that only celebrities will go to Heaven, and nobody else. Jesus was a celebrity, he was sent to earth by God, and to Heaven he was returned. That means that all celebrities are sent to earth by God and will return to Heaven when they die.
As for non-celebrities, there can be only two courses of action: 1) live your life for celebrities and anybody who has at least a modicum of fame because that’s why non-celebrities (like jugheads) exist on earth, and 2) try like hell to become a celebrity before you die so you can get into Heaven also.
This Truth is so simple even a child could grasp it, but many of you fail to understand deeply enough the perilous consequences for a group of non-celebrities who do nothing to support celebrities, or make new celebrities.
The NFL jugheads are fully doing their part in financially supporting all those they can never become: pro athletes, general managers, cheerleaders, and the famous people in the advertisements shown during sporting events. All of these people are celebrities, and the jugheads are making certain they stay that way, and in that manner the jugheads are doing their part for society and for God.
On the flip side, take a look at Afghanistan, Iraq, or Libya. They produce very few to no celebrities and for that they are being ruthlessly bombed and murdered by the greatest celebrity-producing nation on earth: the United States of America. Those countries deserve to be wiped off the map because they are doing nothing to help celebrities or produce celebrities.
So please, Mr Luebke, show some respect to both celebrities and their financial backers, even if the latter group does have beer and sausage for brains, at least they are living and promoting those who are Divine.
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