Dear Dirty America

Did DJ Kaskade’s Tweets start the Hollywood & Highland riot? A new rumor suggests the good deejay is off the hook.Rumors are spreading quickly throughout Los Angeles Thursday morning about the real cause of the Hollywood & Highland riot that sparked non-lethal police retaliation last night. Some are saying the altercation was less between police and rioters who were angry about not getting admission into the “Electric Daisy Carnival Experience” documentary, but centered instead on an argument which ignited within the large gathering.

Somebody, the rumors have it, said they were in full support of Charles Manson getting a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame for his contribution to music. Naturally, 90 percent of the crowd was against that, and great angst spread as the news about Manson’s star ceremony passed mouth to ear.

The rumor continues that while the vast majority of anti-Manson star people (people who had probably signed the Change.org petition) started insulting the 10 percent of Manson star supporters (people who make fun of Change.org).

Anybody who sympathizes with Charles Manson is most likely a person of high moral certitude, so while the supporters were far outnumbered by the non-supporters, their spirit carried them through, and they brazenly fought their populous opposition.

Anyway, that’s what the rumor says.

And that’s when the police came, and my friend Marvin lobbed the first beer bottle.