Dear Dirty America

MICHAEL J BLAIR
Perthshire, Scotland

(see MJ Blair’s Scottish Independence series here)

The longest political campaign in the history of long boring political campaigning is only a few days away from its conclusion.

There will be a long audible sigh of relief from all right minded (not in the political sense) people, not just in Scotland, but across Britain! It has been, in turn, hilarious, tragic, confrontational and plain stupid!

The sheer amount of utter and totally misinformed bullshit has been remarkable. All sides have shown a complete disregard for the truth and shown scant regard for manners.

I’m trying to look back to the beginning of the campaign but my memory doesn’t go back as far as that!

I remember vaguely thinking that I didn’t care who came out on top, as I felt that the SNP government had done well and made some meaningful changes for people in Scotland. I also thought that if the status quo was maintained, I wouldn’t be concerned. There didn’t seem to be anything much for me to get agitated about. My life would meander along in much the same way as it had for a long time.

What made me take notice was when I saw the increase in food banks across Scotland and I thought the first time I saw people collecting donated food in Tesco Blairgowrie, in the heart of prosperous Perthshire, this shouldn’t be happening.

This made me think about whether the information coming from the SNP government about a Yes vote in the referendum being a vote for a fairer more just society held water. How could a party which had held the reins of power for several years, could preside over a descent into widespread poverty? How exactly would a yes vote make this a “fairer, more just” society?

The answer from the Scottish government is, of course, it’s not their fault that poverty in Scotland is at record levels. It’s the Westminster government which is at fault! How could I or anyone else possibly think that the Scottish government could be in anyway blamed? A big government did it and ran away?

Opinion polls appear daily, showing one side or the other is in the lead. The problem is that there are only two horses running so polls get old very quickly! I believe none of them. No one has ever polled me or anyone I’ve ever met. People will say anything on the doorstep or telephone to get rid of annoying idiots asking the same inane questions! Polls are a complete waste of time for everyone except the media, who suck them up like a thirsty man at an oasis!

The last few days have seen some unpleasant and frantic campaigning from both sides of the increasingly insane debate! Warnings of plague and pestilence are thrown around like verbal hand grenades. Nothing is off limits now!

Debates are hitting us from all directions. The young people’s debate was nothing to do with young people except as an audience. The debaters were the usual tired out suspects, including the increasingly eccentric (flat out nuts) George Galloway. And the snippy wee wumman, Nicola Sturgeon, the deputy First Minister. Someone who has got pained earnestness down to a fine art!

Nuts?

As usual it descended into an unpleasant shouting match. This time between the earnest Ms Sturgeon and Ruth Davidson, the openly gay leader of the Scottish Conservative Party. I bet you never thought you would ever hear that particular mixture of vowels and consonants in a month of Sundays!

It was obvious that the two women didn’t like each other. Body language doesn’t lie. Ms Sturgeon, with her legs crossed so tightly her feet were turning purple! Her back turned to Ms Davidson even while she was arguing.

Ms Davidson, face getting more red, eyes bugged out and beads of sweat forming on her strangely smooth forehead,  was getting the better of the unedifying slanging match, which Ms Sturgeon didn’t appreciate.

Others who didn’t appreciate the sight and sound of two so-called intelligent females, were the young audience. All they saw was a replay of every First Minister’s or Prime Minister’s question time. Grown up people screaming at each other without realising how demeaning and pathetic it looked to the very age group they want to vote for their cause.

Mr Galloway who wants to stand for the Scottish parliament at the next election regardless of the result of the referendum vote, was wearing a Fedora, tilted jauntily on his shiny bald head. His face still bearing the bruises he had suffered at the hands of an outraged constituent! He is undoubtedly a character and very much for Scotland remaining in the UK. He would at least liven up the proceedings!

The present Scottish parliament is overrun by faceless party ass kissers. Never wanting to rock any boats just in case they have to get into one of them. Mostly drawn from the septic tank which is local council politics, they are an embarrassing reminder of the lack of political talent in Scotland at the moment!

Other debates have been on television almost every night for the last two weeks. This is completely unnecessary and probably counter productive. I know I cannot sit through one single debate, never mind a string of the damn things!

Most people are sick of being told who they have to vote for. They have minds of their own and do not have to be led by spotty sixteen year olds spouting the latest nonsense from Yes/No campaigns, to the polling station.

The last debate between Messers Salmond and Darling was an unpleasant and nasty slanging match which did nothing for any undecided voter. This is what we should be trying to eradicate from political debate. Stop thinking it’s either big or clever to try to shout down an opponent. It is rude and stupid and turns the average person against politicians of all stripes.

The past weekend has seen Mr Salmond flying all over the country in a helicopter. With all the hot air coming from him, a balloon would have been more appropriate!

This champion of green policies and politics, must have known this wasn’t a smart thing to do. Strangely enough, I didn’t hear any opposition to this aerial pollution. Probably because both sides have wasted more money on this campaign than most people will see in several lifetimes!
All for what? One man’s vanity project? There’s no other reason I can rationally come up with!

I heard Mr Salmond say today that there had been no bullying by anyone on the Yes campaign. This is utter bollocks! I for one have had experienced plenty of vitriol and vicious slurs because I had the temerity to ask questions which I had to, in order to make a rational decision.

I was called a “troll” recently for voicing my opinion. As I said at the time, this is a democracy not a one party state! We are all entitled to our opinions, be they for or against independence.

I wasn’t insulting the gang of Yessers, I was merely asking who the non SNP Yes supporters would vote for in the  Scottish parliamentary elections next year. They now despise the Scottish Labour Party for supporting the Better Together campaign.

They keep telling me this is not about Alex Salmond and the SNP but this is what they have been campaigning for since the fifties and before. What, I wonder, are the true motives behind the disaffected Labour voter’s fervour for independence?

Do they imagine that they can turn Scotland into a wee scared neutral country like Switzerland? Are we not to have a standing army?
What about a working navy to patrol the hundreds of miles of coastline Scotland boasts? There appears to be no planning for this important aspect of post independent Scotland. Would we steal troops from the British armed forces? Has an air force been discussed by the Yes campaign? Or is the real reason is that these forces wouldn’t be needed? Or are we going to start conscription?

I suppose one way of being successful as an independent country would be to become a tax haven. This is very popular with ultra rich people! I believe this is the direction Scotland should be looking towards. If we are going to be independent, we might as well get seriously rich from helping the billionaires who hate giving any of their money away unless it is to make more money or influence a government to look the other way when they break numerous laws in order to get even richer! I feel their pain!

The odd thing is that we hear of the ancient battles fought for past freedoms and the fighting spirit of all Scots, but when I listen to some Yessers, they talk about apologising for Scotland’s past! No one is still alive from the early seventeenth century, so any apology is just ridiculously politically correct crapola!

I have no love of or for the Westminster Parliament and my opinion of politicians in general is lower than a snake’s testicles, but the Scottish politicians are seriously crap!

I think there is a case for Scottish independence but not run by these third rate excuses for public servants. Having weighed up all the options, I think the Better Together campaign is more realistic than the pie in the sky utopian socialist paradise promised but not costed by the Yes side!

I cannot tell anyone who to vote for. There are honorable Yes supporters who can be engaged in rational debate but they are as rare as a hedgehog on a skateboard!

This is my last piece before a historic moment in history for all Scottish people. Use your vote wisely and don’t be fooled by the bollocks!

ALSO BY MJ BLAIR

Doomed or Idyllic: Scottish independence debate caught between rabid utterings from opposite camps

State spying in the name of terrorism

Surveillance society: one nation under CCTV

[SNP’s Alex Salmond shaking hands photo from Irekia; Salmond with Scottish Youth photo from Wkerr128; ‘Yes’ sticker photo from Yamen; William Wallace statue photo from Kim Traynor; George Galloway photo from David Hunt]