Dear Dirty America

What is it like to be called a ‘slut’ by one of the United States’ most prestigious, fraudulent financial institutions, Bank of America? Just ask Lisa McIntire from San Francisco. More importantly, what if you sent a letter to BofA headquarters calling the bank’s CEO, Brian T “I’m A Huge Genital Wart” Moynihan?

Normally that kind of sloppy invective would be offensively fitting for the halls of a rural high school populated by throngs of hillbilly students. Normally these words would not be proper for polite, educated society, but today they are appropriate. And tomorrow, probably, they will be as well.

Not that socially unacceptable words shouldn’t always be hurled at America’s most dangerous global banking outfit. Never mind that a bunch of sellout, low level, starry-eyed executive wannabe scum employees claw their way up the corporate ladder by taking advantage of struggling American families by prematurely foreclosing on their homes for five hundred dollar gift certificates to Bed Bath & Beyond and Olive Garden.

All so that the bank can keep clutched in their vaults the taxpayer-provided federal bailout that was supposed to be used to help drowning middle class homeowners who couldn’t keep a handle on their inflating mortgage payments.  Yet, America’s most hated bank leeches off the middle class by repossessing the homes and selling them once again. That is considered slutty behavior in most circles.

But ask Lisa “Is A Slut” McIntire how it feels to be denigrated by a bank that has risked the United States taxpayer’s economy with around $75 trillion in derivative exposure.

McIntire at first thought it was a troll, because she’s a known feminist writer, “But I don’t think that’s what happened here,” she said, according to the LA Times. Although, let it be known for the record, the bank does have a massive team of trolls trying to sock it to anybody online who denigrates their bank’s culture of fraudulence and greed.

While McIntire is leaning toward thinking her BofA junk mail is the result of a data entry employee just messing around, it’s especially ironic to be insulted by the mega bank.

That’s like having a tapeworm criticize your diet. Normally you would take a bottle of pills to poison the hefty worm that has attached its sucker mouth to a lucrative inner section of your intestine and has gotten comfortable. Yet, we as a society are having trouble expunging Bank of America from our sickened system.

The bank has a formidable grip on our economic guts. It has twisted its slimy hooks into every nook and cranny of our working society and financial institutions. America needs a powerful detoxification process so it can move the toxins through and poop the fuckers and their friends out.

[photo from Lisa McIntire’s Twitter account]