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Romney Fires Back At Obama’s Comments: "Well, He’s A N-gger"

October 26
15:52 2012
DEAR DIRTY NEWSWIRE

OHIO — Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney took his blunt criticisms of President Obama to a new level this morning when he reportedly called his White House opponent a “n-gger.” The criticism slipped from Romney’s lips in an apparent response to the president’s recent Rolling Stone article in which he implies the former governor of Massachusetts is a “bullshitter.”

Mitt Romney stood in front of a crowd of workers outside a small factory in Ohio who had gathered to hear him speak. One man in the audience shouted, “Obama says you’re a bullshitter.” A few people booed. The crowd became quiet. Romney appeared shaken for just a moment. His face turned red. “Well, he’s a n-gger,” Romney said.

A few gasps could be heard. Romney kept the stony look on his face until the audience cheered. He waved and then continued to say that Obama also has bad policies. “Policies that I could never stand for. And policies you shouldn’t stand for either, if you care about this country.”

The Obama campaign called Romney’s remarks shockingly insensitive and hostile, yet typical of that campaign. They also challenged the Romney team to answer which policies are really the problem. “All of them,” the Romney campaign’s senior adviser answered on Twitter. “If Obama made it, basically we hate it.”

Fox News jumped in on the fight by publishing an article saying they didn’t see anything wrong with what Mitt Romney had said. “The facts are the facts,” one article said, “but the liberals will try to spin Mr. Romney’s words.”

One of Romney’s top surrogates, John Snununu, had a similar criticism about Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama being based on his race rather than his policies. “Well, I think when you have somebody of your own race that you’re proud of being president of the United States…” Snununu said.

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The Dear Dirty Newswire spits out surreal news items blending truthful ideas with a satirical premise. Nobody can control the old newswire from sputtering and printing barely readable, inky pages of news. DDA’s editors and administrators never dare question what it produces. 

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2 Comments

  1. Tomás Hradcky
    Tomás Hradcky October 27, 00:16

    It’s amazing that Mitt actually listened to someone. Quick on his feet though, and a kind gesture to Fox as they’ve had a hard time, as of late, filling up their 24 hours of fair & balanced.

    I guess ol’ Mitt is also helping out his buds at the pharma companies as it’ll give the proverbial liberal media pundits many many health issues that will need new shiny drugs to combat.

    Plus, hey, it’s not good for the leaders of the “free” world to hold this kind of stuff locked up in their heads. Mitt needs to get this stuff out otherwise he may break and actually show emotion. Not good, not good as he’ll end up outsourcing Ann.

    Reply to this comment
  2. Adam Michael Luebke
    Adam Michael Luebke October 27, 00:43

    Outsourcing Ann. I never thought of that. Do you think she fears such a thing? Why does Mitt even keep her around? Other than public appearances, I suppose. We all know everything’s done a lot cheaper in China or Indonesia.

    Reply to this comment

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